As many of you kow my beloved mother recently passed away. Although I have not lived with my parents for over 30 years her loss has been devastating to me and to the remainder of my family; especially my father. I wanted to post something on this site as a cyber-memorial to my mom but when I read what my Dad wrote I asked him if I could use his prose instead. So here it is - words from my father about the love of his life.
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Dorothy had a small fall in the bedroom in the middle of March and went to the doctor with what she was told were bruised ribs. Unfortunately after 3 weeks of continuing pain she was examined again and told she had broken 5. By then she had contracted pneumonia, had a partially collapsed lung with fluid in the pleural cavity and was admitted into the emergency ward on April 13 and placed on oxygen and antibiotics.
After 3 weeks of treatment her condition improved but the doctors decided that more investigation was required. A large carcinoma was found in her left breast that had metastasized into numerous lymph nodes and invaded her skeleton. When her vital signs had returned to normal she was sent home with supervision by the nurses attached to the palliative care program of the BC Health system as there was no treatment possible for the advanced stage 4 cancers.
Her condition appeared to be improving after a few weeks as her energy was returning, and she had regained her weight and had a good appetite. In the first week of July she suffered a serious setback and we were told that she did not have much time left as she was no longer able to stand on her own and has lost her appetite. She was very tired and slept much of the time. The nurses said that the cancer had taken over her body and had overwhelmed its ability to clear out the poisons emitted by the wild cell growth. Up to this point she had little pain and most of the time was able to be comfortable with ordinary Tylenol.
Many of her friends prayed that her wishes that she would have a peaceful departure from this life to be with Jesus would come quickly and easily. She was ready to meet Him as He had been her best friend since she was a little girl. She said that she loved Him dearly, and she knew He was waiting to welcome her home and so had no fear of death.
On June 9th we celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary. I marvel that I have been blessed by her presence for such a long time and can only thank God that our lives have been led by Him from our fortuitous meeting on a Greyhound Bus at Moses Lake in Washington 60 years ago. The end of our life together here on earth has arrived and the bittersweet memories during its passage as man and wife are the basis for my grief at the loss of her daily presence. It is difficult to conceive of my life without sharing it with her.
We all know that our days are numbered. The lives of a couple who have been united for years in the bonds of matrimony usually end in different ways and very rarely together. To discover that the one you love will die before you do, is an event that should be expected, but is the last thing that crosses our minds as the thoughts of losing such a precious relationship are thrust aside. The pain of facing such a possibility is one which we find difficult to face, and are devastated when it happens.
In the small back patio of our condominium is a garden with a variety of flower pots. In the largest I have planted a wild rose bush from Alberta that is a root from the one that grew in my mother’s farmyard. This year it grew a large number of buds and young shoots and as the season was late it bore a hundred pink rose blooms when at last the weather turned warm enough. The perfume was overwhelmingly sweet.
The bush is now covered by hundreds of withered flowers and the perfume no longer is present in the gentle breeze that blew in through the back door that was kept ajar during her final days. The memories of the color, the profusion of the blossoms, and the sweet perfume that they produce, linger as do other memories in our lives. Unless one has actually seen the blooms and smelled the perfume, there is little in the dried brown petals that remain that even hints at the sight and sweet smell that they produced. It is a lasting memory for those who have seen the colors and smelled the scent.
Dorothy was such a blossom in God’s garden. There are few that are so beautiful and disseminate such sweetness to enrich the lives of all with whom they come in contact. Like those withered blooms on the bush they arouse many memories. I have been privileged to have had her as my partner, and my life has been the richer for it. That is why it is so hard to find that what God gives us, is not really ours to keep. It is sent to enrich the lives of all who are fortunate enough to encounter such a rare and priceless treasure. I have been blessed to have her as my constant companion for such a long time. It is hard to realize that God took her back at 1:25 am on July 23rd, 2011 without pain or struggle.
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